Faith. Relationship. Career

Tuesday, 14 August 2012


Before I start today's post, I would like to share my opinion on a topic that bothers me-- Marriage in our present day society. We hear stories of broken marriages/homes everyday. When I was younger, I thought these stories were just cooked up by Nigerian movie producers/script writers for the purpose of entertainment. With time, I have come to realize how real these stories are. In fact, most homes are broken and the numbers are increasing everyday.

Divorce has become a common word in our society. People now "check out" when they are tired or when the love has "expired". Some young couples go into marriage expecting a break up while some spend one month in marriage like its a free trial offer. Cheating is now a topic for negotiation and some women have the mentality of "I will not carry last so lemme cheat first".

Some women go for the ring, some for the attention of a lavish wedding while others just think it's cute! As for the guys, some go into marriage because all their friends are married or the girl is "flaunt-worthy". Personally, I find it sad that people have degraded themselves to this level but ya, that's my opinion!

Women, you may not realize this but you control the direction of marriage. You are the one who says YES or NO. When we tolerate certain behaviors and even make excuses for them, we are teaching our daughters that it's okay to tolerate domestic violence and infidelity. We are not perfect and sometimes we make bad decisions but it would help the younger generations if our mothers and aunties were open about the realities of marriage.

As women, we should always remember that the decisions we make do not affect us alone but children will be involved and exposing them to a man with questionable character will only create a generational problem. A violent man will breed violent children and it just goes on...

Stop searching for a man. If you spend your time searching for a man, you will find him. In life, anything you put your 100% into will definitely yield something. If you want a bad guy, tall guy, Christian guy, rich guy, nice guy, you will find him. You may not connect with him as expected but you will definitely find him. However, be prepared to put up with what you have chosen and also remember that what you see in a person is what you choose to see. Most times, love has a way of making a person look flawless. A guy hits you and you manage to look for the positive in it and confidently make excuses.

You can only see with your human eyes and when you decide to commit your self to somebody for the rest of your life, what the eyes see or the head figures or what the heart feels is not good enough. Listening to those "lovina-polina" people who sit down and write love quotes like "follow your heart, not your head" has destroyed so many lives. What makes their words so special? What they feel is what you feel so how did they suddenly become experts in love and relationships. I'm sure if you meet them today they would give you all the ideas in the world but still have nothing to show for all the "wisdom".

Ladies, go to the source! The only one who sees all things and knows the heart of every man. He will give you the man He has created for you. In Genesis 2: 22 "And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man". You are created from a man and at the right time, when God knows that you are ready, He will bring you to that man. No one gives a 2 year old a car to drive so be patient, go through the complete process with God. Let him take you through the fire so you can come out as gold. When you chose by yourself, you stand the risk of choosing a counterfeit and we all know how counterfeit money looks like real money. Also, when you let God pick your man, when difficult times come you can always ask God for help but when you make a decision by yourself, you indirectly tell God that you don't need his help.

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