Faith. Relationship. Career

Tuesday, 25 August 2015

GUEST POST: How Do We Truly Define Love?

Is this truly LOVE ?

This is one question I grew up asking and it did take a while to get the right answers so I did a study on LOVE and I want to share some of my findings on this amazing subject.

Is our knowledge of love based off the media, experience or the society? What does love mean to you?

The word LOVE is often misused because we don’t fully understand it.

Like the saying “Not all that glitters is gold”, not anything that looks like love is love although it may even feel like love.

1. GOD is LOVE

“Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love” 1 John 4:8. This means that you learn love from learning about God. You can ask Him to teach you how to love.

2. Love is sacrifice. It is not a matter of “who sacrificed something the last time”, “if he doesn’t call, I won’t call” or receiving the love response. Love stands without reciprocation. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay one’s life for one’s friend” (John 15:3). I am not saying that you have to die for someone to show that you love them but you have to love them so much that your life means nothing in comparison to your love for them. I think that is why most of the classical romantic movies always have people die for love. It is a grand gesture but you have to do it with understanding. A relationship will not work until someone is willing to sacrifice (compromise). It doesn't matter if it is only one person sacrificing; if the love is real and true, the other person will start. We learn how to love from others too.

3. Love is long lasting. It is not that feeling that easily goes away. It stays forever because It is unconditional; it does not depend on situation.

There have been times in my life that I thought I was “in Love” but I soon realized that I wasn’t. It was probably romantic love.. LOL!.

Romantic love is highly placed but it relies on feelings which changes easily. This is why marriage cannot depend on romantic love. The deeper kind of love has to be in a marriage for it to last.

4. Love is action. it is expressed in various ways such as acts of kindness, words of affirmation, gifts, hugs. kisses etc. read “5 love languages” by Gary Chapman for details. However, don’t confuse these for love in itself. They are expressions of our love for someone.

Love is not just a feeling or emotion. It goes beyond that. “True love isn’t just expressed in passionately whispered words or an intimate kiss or embrace;... love is expressed in self control, patience, even words left unsaid.” - Josh Harris

5. Love Understands. I will admit that I am pretty difficult to understand. However, anyone that truly loves me will invest their time in trying to understand me. And it is in understanding me that our relationship will grow deeper. I open up easily when I feel like I am being understood.

6. Love is a choice. We choose who we want to express love to. It doesn’t just happen. If it did, then I would be “in love” with every guy I met. We choose who we want to invest our time, gifts and emotions in.

True love is the same with God. He chose us and He asks us to love. There will be no ‘asking’ if it isn’t a choice’.

This is the kind of LOVE we all need to express. The kind that


Overlooks mistakes and weaknesses



Here is my conclusion:

We can’t fully understand LOVE because GOD is LOVE and no one can fully understand GOD. You can’t know true LOVE until you know GOD.

Something to think about:

If God is love and we are his children, then we are love too.

Pix Credit:

By: Bisola Ayanlowo
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