The most courageous act is still to think for yourself. aloud. - Coco Chanel.

Monday, 26 September 2016


This post is inspired by a long time friend whom I have known for more than two decades. This beautiful, kind-hearted young woman taught me a lot about love and although I've been loving her for 20+ years, I only became aware of it a couple years ago. I noticed a recent facebook status which said
"The capacity of your forgiveness is as a result of the measure of your love" and it reminded me of the love my friend continues to show me.

On a fateful day, I asked her why she puts up with my flaws and she said to me "because I love you". Prior to that, I expected a strong statement like that from family and romantic partners. I never expected it from a friend because growing up, 'friends' came and left in the blink of an eye and needless to say, I was brought up to focus on my studies and family (lol friends are distractions they said).

Then the process began...the redefinition of love for me. I started asking myself tough questions. Did I love her back? Would I stick with someone after seeing their difficult side?
It was then I realized I had just been passive about love. I didn't choose her until that moment. Love is a choice. It is choosing someone when things are good and when they are not so good. It is choosing to love them when life changes them and weakens their spirit. It is choosing not to change them but to love them until they can either reciprocate or pass on the love to another.

That is what my friend, Christy Emere-Johnson did for me. She loved me in spite of my flaws and chose me every single day. She accepted the version of me 20 years ago as much as she accepted this version of me today and never tried to change me although she noticed my flaws. God knows I needed her heart of gold in order to see what love truly means. He knew if only I could see it, then I'll have more patience to love another.

If you look at this from a spiritual standpoint, you'll see that God didn't sacrifice for us as believers but while we were sinners. He asks us to come as we are...damaged, broken and insecure. His plan is not to change us or bend us to his will but to allow his love change us to the point of strength and excellence of spirit so we can pass that love on to others.

I would have loved to post this on your birthday but it's not too late, Happy Birthday my turnup queen!! Live long, prosper and let your loving heart keep changing people like me.
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