Faith. Relationship. Career

Saturday, 8 July 2017


Looking back on my patterns, I realized that when and if I care about someone/something, I go above and beyond to prove myself. For instance, when you get your dream job and you hold on tight, working overtime and trying to make an impression. I try to get my manager to see me and appreciate my effort. In relationships, I end up trying to 'invest' so much into my partner that I disregard the things that are important to me. Sometimes, we forget to realize that they chose us because they already see something special in us.

Recently, I've been wondering why it's so easy to be strong, focused and confident when you're single but when you get into a relationship, you become this wild, untamed 'person'. Well, I speak for myself as this is mostly the case when I'm in a relationship where I actually care. Personally, I consider myself to be a spiritual, passionate and ambitious woman but trust me when I say all that goes out the window once I get into a relationship...well, all except the passionate part. By neglecting your work out sessions, church services/prayers, mani-pedis and the other things that you love to do, you create an inferior version of you.

I've obviously had 'failed' relationships and a few jobs in the past. With each experience, I've come to realize that putting this extra effort doesn't necessarily show love and commitment. Sometimes, it means you're simply overcompensating for your fears of losing that job or person and that could make you feel drained and exhausted. It's almost impossible to give your best self to a situation if you're exhausted all the time.

There's a reason why that employer or person chose you. You don't have to be anything or do anything to get them to love you. By loving yourself, you allow them to see more of the qualities that attracted them to you in the first place. Don't lose your self trying to satisfy a desire that could eventually be lost. It's different when you actually enjoy going above and beyond for that job or person. That should be the indicator - Do I enjoy working overtime for my employer every day? Do I enjoy picking my boyfriend/girlfriend up from work every day? Simply put, If it doesn't make you happy, don't do it. It's a different situation if your employer requires your extra commitment on a project which will last a short period of time. And even at that, you should always negotiate the terms to help you feel comfortable.

From a spiritual standpoint, overcompensating signifies fear and fear only leads to failure. You're simply trying to gain control of a situation because you're afraid that you might lose it. Every time you hold on to something out of fear, you create bad vibes that simply say 'I'm not good enough', 'I don't deserve this', 'I don't know what will happen to me if I lose it'. These are negative messages that contradict your faith in God. As Christians, we should walk in faith and our actions and words should say 'I am good enough', 'I deserve this because God's children deserve the best', 'I trust that what is meant for me is mine', 'If it doesn't work out, I still have God and I trust his direction'.

Take care of your heart, love yourself enough to know that whatever is meant for you is simply yours.

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